The Reply Rule
Okay, so there isn’t any rule. Or is there? If there is, it’s clearly not as widespread as it should be.
I’ll be the first to admit it: I get so frustrated when people don’t reply to your emails, text messages or phone calls – more frustrated than I ought to be. But to me it’s all courtesy. A person took the time to try to communicate with you, at least take the time to let the person know you were aware of his/her efforts.
However, I’ll also be the first to admit it: I haven’t been quite perfectly diligent in replying myself. 90% of the time, I do. Even those annoying scam texts, like “You’ve just won a Mercedes Benz and P150,000.00! Go to this address XXXXX and claim your prize!” or “Msta na kau dyan, eto n bagng roamng # ko. P-snd ng load.” (“How are you all doing over there, here’s my new roaming number, please send me prepaid load/credits,” in extreme shortcut mode.) or, the most irritating, “PNoy has failed to… etc. etc. etc.” (some government update just dedicated to making a particular politician look good or bad) – even those get a reply from me:
“Qu’est-ce que c’est? Je ne suis pas intéressée. Arrêtez de me contacter, s’il vous plaît!”
Hey. It works. I don’t hear from them for another couple of months, as opposed to just a few days’ gap when I don’t reply.
As for the remaining 10% of the time, aren’t there just those days when you can’t get yourself to reply anything? I find sometimes I have nothing to say, or I’m just too plain lazy to exert any effort to touch base with that other person.
There are times when it’s legitimate, I suppose. My friends and I know each other well enough to be able to accommodate this lull in the conversation, because we know that it would happen anyway even if we were face to face. That lull when you kind of just take a breather, and when you start talking again, it’s like you never stopped. But only a fraction of the people I know actually know me well enough for it to be permissible.
So I have this new resolution. When someone tries to call me, I will pick up. If I cannot pick up, I will send a text message apologizing I missed their call, asking if they would like me to call them back. If I do not know who called, I will insert that inquiry into the message. All that is a given, I don’t think I’ve let any call get past me without any acknowledgement.
But when someone tries to email me or text me – except of course for spam emails, while I keep my stand on flustering text spammers in French – I will send them an email or a text message back, acknowledging that I received their messages, and will get back to them in a while, if I cannot get back to them right away. At the very least I don’t keep them playing the guessing game, wondering, Did she receive it? If she received it but didn’t reply, does that mean she’s upset? Uninterested? Or is she just plain rude? Blah blah blah.
So, back to that query on whether there exists this rule or not, and that insight on how, if there exists one such rule, people need to be more consistent in acting upon it. I’m just going to do it out of my desire to do unto others what I wish to be done unto me. I always appreciate the courtesy of a reply or an acknowledgment of how I tried to get in touch with someone.
Here’s to hoping people will follow suit, and hopefully make a habit of it.
Life in bits and pieces. 